


The Suburbs (On Hiatus Until Further Notice)

by trippingjaeger



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drug Use, Drugs, F/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:48:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3697973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trippingjaeger/pseuds/trippingjaeger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi and Hanji have been out of high school for almost a year and they're ready to leave their bustling, bright city. They're also ready to leave everything behind, but each other. Levi is secretly overly attached to Hanji and she's a little oblivious about it. While on the road, they meet a lot of new people that Levi is hesitant to call his friends, but Hanji's all over it. Maybe they'll even see unexpected people from their past. However, all Levi is concerned about is Hanji and trying to win her affections. He doesn't want her to ever leave him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Suburbs

**Author's Note:**

> Finally got over my Flowers for a Ghost hangover and decided to pick this up! I wrote this chapter a while ago and I decided to try and pre-write a few chapters and update every few weeks so I don't fall behind. I'll probably end up falling behind anyway.  
> If you read Flowers for a Ghost, you know that I add in side pairings and they're sprinkled throughout here as well. I'm just not tagging them all.  
> Also, warnings are in the tags and they will be updated if they need to be. I don't want anybody complaining and/or getting triggered by what I write.  
> Also also, the explicit rating is for future chapters just so I don't have to update it later.  
> AND one more thing: The whole work and chapter titles are based on the album 'The Suburbs' by Arcade Fire. Please check it out if you read the work so you can understand all the references to each song I put in.  
> I'll quit blabbering now. The first chapter is short, but they will get longer with time. Enjoy!

_Grab your mother’s keys. We’re leavin._

That was the last message I had gotten from her before we hit the road.

I had already packed all my bags and left a note for my parents. We were both 19 and tired of our homes and lives. Neither of us were stable or clean, but we had to do what we had to do.

\--

Hanji and I had known each other all throughout high school. We got into a lot of trouble and ended up in truancy more than once for drug scandals. We didn’t associate with anyone, but ourselves.

However, there were a few who tried to weasel their way in.

Erwin was the biggest weasel of them all. He would rat us out and try to get us to go get help or even get us in jail at one point. He really wanted to see us do well. He would make a great father one day.

Mike and Nanaba were less of a hassle. They never bothered us about doing drugs, but we’d invite them out or something and they’d end up screwing in the backseat of my mother’s car on more than one occasion. They were voted cutest couple every year in the year book.

It had been almost a year since we all graduated. Erwin was going on to college to study criminal

justice. Nanaba was already 5 months pregnant with Mike’s baby and he demanded that they get married ASAP. They’d be happy together and I knew it. Everyone else was simply a blur. I didn’t remember faces or names. The only one I was concerned about was Hanji Zoe.

Hanji and I met before class on the first day of freshman year. She asked me if I had cigarette. Of course I did and of course I gave her one. I was simply amazed. She wasn’t the kind of girl you’d see smoking let alone doing drugs.

Our friendship grew beyond just cigarettes though. I think we smoked weed a total of 3 or 4 times before we discovered pills. We started with the generic stuff for anxiety and moved up to heavy painkillers. Hanji got a kick out of Xanax for the longest time and whatever she was popping, so was I. However, by the time we were on Oxycontin, no other pill could do it for us. We barely managed to get through school, but we did with solid C’s and D’s.

We never sold what we had. We worked odd jobs all throughout school and even this year because we didn’t go to college like everyone else and put a lot in the bank because we knew a dealer who would sell to us cheap. Whatever was in the bank now, was about to be drawn out for our little road trip.

\--

I read over her message one last time before throwing my phone into one of my bags. I double-checked to make sure I had everything I needed. I grabbed my mom’s car keys off the key ring in the kitchen and ran out to the driveway where she had the sucker parked.

I unlocked the car and threw all my stuff into the backseat. We’d most likely be folding them down later for a place to sleep, but that was a different worry. Our main worry was to not get caught until at least the morning.

I hopped in and started the engine. The clock read 1:14 which seemed like a decent time to skip town. I backed out of the driveway and made my way to Hanji’s house. We’d been dreaming about this day for years.

\--

Hanji was sitting on the curb outside her apartment complex by the time I got there. It was early April and she wasn’t wearing much despite how brisk it was outside.

Her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail as usual and she was wearing a black tank top under a sweatshirt, a pair of shorts, and a pair of black sneakers. Her bags were sitting beside her like they were her friends.

She lifted her head up when she saw me and gave me this goofy Hanji smile. I loved it. She threw open the door to the backseat and loaded her things in as quickly as possible before she hopped in the front seat.

“In the neighbor town, we’ll check to make sure we got everything. We’ll also stop at a 24-hour Holiday to grab some drinks and snacks. Turn on the radio.”

I did as she asked as she nestled back into the seat. Her eyes were wide and her expression was giddy. Some unknown band was playing on the radio, but we loved it. It was the only sound being made throughout the entire vehicle before we made our way to the neighbor town.

\--

Our neighboring town was maybe a 5 minute drive on the interstate and 20 by back roads. We always tended to take back roads when we never had much of a destination. We knew the roads better than anything and our plan was to keep driving them until we decided it was time to go back or we ran out of money.

We were just desperate kids trying to get out of a desperate situation.

I pulled into an empty parking lot so we could have time to check our stuff. Hanji hopped out of the car first and lit up a cigarette. “Ok, so what are we looking at as a plan?”

I followed her example and lit up my own. “I figure we’ll head west so we can stretch more of the state out. I don’t really wanna leave it. I just wanna explore. During the trip, we can sleep in the car and live off gas station food and cheap restaurants like Denny’s and iHop.”

She looked into the backseat and took a drag off her cigarette. “Sounds like the best plan we’ve had in a long time. Did you grab everything we need?”

“On my end, I grabbed all I could. I hope you did the same.”

“Of course I did. I wanna get out of the suburbs before some war breaks out and we have to fight in it.”

I chuckled a little bit. Hanji had always been a little delusional at times, but she had good intentions. She’d speak about wars and walls and houses falling down. The houses falling down she could back up. We used to always find crumbling houses from the 70s and sleep there for a night or two.

“The suburbs can be good sometimes.”

“We’ll never survive there forever. It’s boring and I don’t wanna grow up to be an old woman without any kids. I want a daughter while I’m still young.”

I rolled my eyes and took a drag off my cigarette. “Whatever, enough talk of the suburbs. I say we pop a few before we go.”

Hanji smirked and unzipped the front pocket on one of her backpacks. She pulled out 4 pills and ate two, handing the other 2 to me.

I tilted my head back and downed them dry. I hated how they tasted, but we still needed drinks and to finish these cigarettes.

Hanji let her cigarette hang from her mouth as she leaned against the car. Her sweatshirt slipped from her shoulder and her tank top was loose enough to show off her bra and her tattoo. Hanji had gotten that tattoo of a bird in junior year. She always told me it meant freedom to her. She wanted to be free. She wanted to leave.

Her tattoo was just another unique thing about her appearance. She had snakebites that always held silver studs and her hair was always messy. She also wore thick glasses that made her look like a dirty librarian.

I was also hopelessly in love with her.

That was another story. I had liked her for over 3 years now. She captivated me when we met, but I brushed it off at the time. I dated this other girl throughout most of high school. Her name was Petra.

Petra was always so ambitious and hated the crowd I was in. She’d smoke weed and drink with us every so often, but by the time the ACTs and SATs were rolling around, she quit everything, including me. She ended up leaving for college as soon as we graduated and I let her go. She was done messing around and wanted to get serious.

Petra was really sweet, but also sort of boring. Our sex life was dull and hardly there. She was never fun in bed. I could never hold a conversation with her while we were fucking. It was a weird thing to want in a girl, but it’s what I liked. She also never got kinky. Like, ever.

It was a good thing she wanted to end it with me because I would have never had the heart to tell her all the shit about her that bothered me. Hanji was way more my speed. We even screwed occasionally. Somewhere in the mix, I lost the heat for Petra and was definitely more into Hanji.

\--

When we were finished smoking, we headed into the gas station to get food and drinks. We ended up buying a 12-pack of Coke, a few bags of chips, and 11 lighters. It was Hanji’s lucky number.

I paid for everything while Hanji was in the bathroom and ended up going back outside before she was done. I climbed in the car and lit up another cigarette while I waited for her. When I did see her come out, she was holding a big plastic bag. She climbed in the car and ran her fingers through her bangs.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Swiggity swag, what’s in the bag?” She smiled and pulled out two cartons of cigarettes. One was a carton of Camel 99s and the other, Marlboro Smooth 100s. I was glad we shared taste in cigarettes.

“Excellent choice, shit glasses.”

She smiled. “I’m glad we switch between menthols and regulars and happen to like the same brands. We should be set for about a week, but it’s better to buy cigarettes in bulk to waste more money on other shit like gas and food.”

I chuckled and started the car. We had a full tank that would last us a few hours. “I think we could be in college city before the sun rises. Maybe we could stay there for a day or two and hang out on campus. I hear it’s huge.”

Hanji rolled down her window and lit up another cigarette before tossing her bangs back again. “It is. I went there for 4 days, remember?”

“Sometimes I forget that you tried to leave me.”

She shrugged. “I thought I had a shot. If I ever go back, I’ll pick a different major and most likely, a different university.” She sat up and looked at me with a huge smile. “This is off topic, but have the pills kicked in yet for you because I am floating.”

I took a drag off my cigarette and smirked. “They’re working their way up to my brain.”

In the most sarcastic tone she could muster, she said, “Young man, should you be driving?”

I retaliated, “Of course not, miss, but I’m going to anyway.”

“Why don’t we kick it in the parking lot under the overpass for a bit? We could sleep a little and then drive to college town. I wanna try being awake during the day while we stick around there.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I smiled and made my way to the overpass.

\--

It was a small lot that had weeds growing underneath it that would poke out from the cracks. Not a lot of people knew that there was a lot here, but I was glad that we knew.

I put the car into park and rolled all the windows down before turning off the engine. Hanji had lit a menthol a while ago and it was about half-smoked. Her head was also halfway out the window. I decided to follow her lead, but I was leaning against the window so I could look at her.

She sat up and looked at me. “Do you think our parents will be worried?”

“Probably. Especially since they won’t be able to contact us, but I left mine a nice note.” Hanji and I had taken the time to block every single number in our contacts besides each other’s. It was a sure-fire way to keep our parents and anybody else off our tails. We could still contact each other in case we got separated but everyone else simply didn’t exist.

She took a drag and sighed out the smoke. “My note was bittersweet. It got the point across and I said I loved them and not to worry. If something did go wrong, we’d get a hold of them right away.”

I nodded and took a drag from my own cigarette. I was nervous because there was still time to go back, undetected. Staying for a few hours under the overpass would worry me sick, but Hanji would talk me out of my doubts. I knew we both needed this.

\--

We smoked and drank soda for about an hour before Hanji curled up in the back, ready to sleep. I still had half a cigarette to finish, but I’d join her soon.

I wasn’t having regrets anymore. Hanji was the one I wanted to take this crazy trip with. We’d be in college town tomorrow and that would be great. Hanji said she wanted to try squatting as well as sleeping in the car. It sounded more fun than it should have.

My cigarette was gone before my head was empty, but it was definitely time to get some rest. I rolled up all the windows and turned the car off before locking it. I kicked off my shoes and got under the blankets Hanji had laid out earlier.

“Hey, Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming with me. I would’ve been too afraid to do this alone.”

“It’s what we’ve always wanted, Hanji. I had to go with you.”

She smiled a little and leaned into me, kissing me. I closed my eyes and kissed back, sharply inhaling through my nose. She pulled away and shook out her ponytail before lying back on the pillow.

“Goodnight, Levi.” She smiled a little before closing her eyes and settling into the makeshift bed.

I removed her glasses and put them above the pillows before getting myself comfortable. “Goodnight, Hanji.” We both fell asleep not long after our goodnights and somewhere during the night, we ended up draped over each other and holding hands.

Just like lovers would.


	2. Ready To Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was pretty fun, I think. I wrote it last week. I'm uploading the chapters as I finish the next one. For example, I'm uploading this one because I just finished 3 and I'm starting 4 so I'll post 3 when 4's done and so on.
> 
> Levi is broody and Hanji's oblivious. Nothing too surprising.
> 
> I hope you keep enjoying~

It was early when I woke up the next morning which meant I was running on very little sleep. Hanji was still asleep next to me, her hair messier than I’d ever seen it. I smiled which was rare for me, but I did it nonetheless. She was just too cute despite being an extreme pain in my ass.

I heard her whine a little and she squirmed around under the blanket. She opened one of her eyes and smiled at me. “What time is it?”

I grabbed my phone from the front seat and groaned. “6 in the morning. I suppose that’s good though. If we leave now, we could get to college town before noon.”

Hanji bolted up from under the blanket with much more energy than she had had a few seconds ago. “Awesome! She grabbed a roll of toilet paper from her bag and crawled into the backseat to open a door. “Lemme take a piss first and then I’m ready to start.”

She was charming to say the least.

\--

After “taking a piss”, as Hanji put it, and brushing our teeth using water bottles to wet the brushes, we hopped in the front seat of my mom’s car and headed off to college town. The drive was going to be long, but I don’t think I was going to mind it too much. Hanji was always good at conversation.

After leaving the mountain town of eccentrics which was roughly two hours away from the overpass, Hanji brought up a weird topic.

“You should get your nose pierced.”

I laughed a little. “Why do you say that?”

“Because! You have a virgin body. No tattoos or piercings. I mean, besides your ears being stretched, that’s it!”

I put a finger through one of my plugs. They were the only body mod I had. Hanji had them as well, but hers were only a 00g while mine were 5/8 of an inch. I liked Hanji’s small ones though. They fit her.

“Why would I get my nose pierced though? Isn’t that a little feminine?”

“Not your nostril, stupid. I meant your septum. Hanji pinched her septum and smiled. “I heard it hurts like a bitch, but I know you’re tough.”

“Well, it _is_ a cartilage piercing. Hey, you have the cartilage on both your ears pierced, how much did that hurt?”

“It wasn’t so bad. The healing process sucked though because I had to sleep on at least one side of my head at night. They bled pretty bad for a while, but now they’re all healed!” She played with the rings on the top of her ears and giggled.

I smiled at her and turned up the radio. Death Cab for Cutie was playing and I knew Hanji adored them. She sang along to the song and rolled down the window. Even though the wind was loud, I couldn’t help but admire her when she put her glasses up on her head and sang, the wind blowing her ponytail around. Her hair was always messy, but the wind made it look even prettier.

\--

We rolled into college town around noon and we took shifts driving so we could take turns napping. We were both pretty rested when we rolled in. We drove around the University a time or two which killed about half an hour before we settled on parking on the street.

Hanji got out of the car and stretched. “Looks like school is still in session. Maybe we’ll see someone we know. Isn’t Erwin going here?”

I shrugged and locked up the car after getting out. I lit up a cigarette and blew out the smoke slowly. “I couldn’t care less, really. He always wanted to ‘help’ us and that was the most irritating shit on the planet.”

“And yet you don’t find me annoying.” Hanji lit up her own cigarette and leaned against the car next to me. “I wonder if Petra goes here.”

I shuddered at the thought of her. “I can’t remember if she even told me which college she was going to.”

“What if we run into her?”

“Don’t even joke like that.”

“I’m serious! What the fuck would you say to her?”

“I don’t know at this point. She didn’t really break my heart. I was actually pretty relieved when she broke up with me. I didn’t have the heart to dump her. She was boring, but she was too sweet.”

Hanji nodded. “I hope I wasn’t boring in bed.”

Hanji and I had only slept together a handful of times and it was only when I was with Petra. It had been over a year since we last screwed, but I always seemed to be thinking about it. Hanji was great in bed. She was a total masochist and a sadist. It made things a lot more fun. Of course, Hanji could never beat me up too bad or Petra would’ve had my head. Both of them.

“Fuck no. You were the best person I’ve ever slept with. I can’t even compare you to Petra. You’re like on a pedestal of being a goddess and she’s…I can’t think of a good metaphor.”

Hanji laughed a little and kept sucking on her cigarette. “When we’re done with these, what do you wanna do?”

I dropped my cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. “Pop a few and see if we can find anyone we know.”

“You’re awful with faces.”

“Then you’re the lookout.”

“Fair enough.”

I unlocked the car and opened the back door of the car and grabbed our stash of pills before handing Hanji two pills and a water bottle. She took them and I followed her lead. After that, I locked the car again and we were on our way to exploring.

\--

Hanji wasn’t lying when she said the campus was huge and everyone looked the same whereas they all stood out in their own way. It was kind of creepy and I hated it. There were even people who talked to us telling us that there was a party tonight in one of the houses lining the edge of campus.

I was a little curious and Hanji definitely was. She wanted to go. We told a group of kids that we’d be there and they introduced themselves. I’d forget their names later, but maybe I’d remember their faces. Hanji was good with names though. She’d remember for the both of us.

We snuck off near the bus stops for another cigarette because apparently the campus was tobacco free. That seemed like bullshit to me because my mom would tell me stories of the 80s when they could smoke _in_ their dorms. I lit up and immediately felt the pills go to my head with the first drag.

“That Eren kid seemed nice.”

I had to look up and forget the bees in my head for a moment. “Who?”

“The one with the brown hair and beautiful green eyes.” Hanji lit up a cigarette and pretended to swoon. “I bet our babies would be gorgeous.”

I rolled my eyes and took another drag from my cigarette. “I bet they’ll be the most annoying babies in the history of everything.”

“You don’t even know him!”

“Neither do you!”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll run into him tonight so we can get to know him better.” Hanji looked over her shoulder to see if he was still walking away. “I think he might be gay.”

I nearly choked on the smoke from my cigarette. “What?”

“Don’t be so close-minded! The blond boy he was with looked like his boyfriend.”

“Good, then he won’t want to have babies with you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you jealous or something?” She took a long drag off her cigarette, wearing a shit-eating grin.

I turned away and chuckled nervously. “Pfft. If I was into you, I would have gone for it a long time ago. Besides, us having casual sex occasionally doesn’t mean I’m into you.”

“Oh, so I’m just something pretty to look at while you get your rocks off?”

Shit. She had me cornered. Hanji and I never really fought, but she was scary when she was angry. “No! Hanji, I love you as a friend and a sexual partner, but I don’t see myself pursuing a romantic relationship with you.” Liar.

Hanji smiled a little and took another drag off her cigarette. “I love you too. As a friend and sexual partner.”

And that was that.

\--

We spent most of the day wandering around campus and poking our heads into buildings and dorm halls and classrooms. We did catch a little bit of a criminal justice lecture and I was pretty interested in that. Hanji was more into the biology courses. In the end, we sat through 3 lectures total. One criminal justice, one biology, and one history class where they were talking about the Vietnam War.

We blended in for the most part as we left the lecture hall after the history class. Hanji jumped over the last three steps and turned on her heels to face me after she landed. “Being a soldier would be so much fun. Maybe I should enlist in the military.”

“You’d have to take out your piercings and plugs. You’d also have to quit doing drugs.”

Hanji blew her bangs up out of her face. “Nevermind. Hey! Speaking of piercings, we should go get some tomorrow. You can get your septum and I could totally get my bridge done.”

“Wouldn’t your glasses rest on it and hurt?”

Hanji pondered for a minute. “I’m not totally blind.”

“You have to drive. I’m not taking all the shifts.”

“Fiiiiine. Ooh! I could get my Medusa! How cool would that look paired with my snakebites?”

I stepped up to Hanji and eyed her. She was right. It would look really nice in that triangular formation. “That sounds like a good idea.”

“We should get tattoos.”

“Hanji.”

“On the way back, I mean! We can take what money we have left over and go get some ink done. What would you get done?”

I started walking to the edge of campus and pondered it. “Maybe a pair of wings on the back of my neck. One black, one white.”

“That sounds pretty. I think I’d get a flower on my shoulder with vines going down my arm to my elbow. That biology class really inspired me.”

“What kind of flower?” I lit up a cigarette once we were near the bus stops.

“Something with a lot of petals probably. What does a morning glory look like?”

I took a drag and lit up another cigarette for Hanji then handed it to her. “We can google it later because I have no idea.”

She took the cigarette and took a long drag off it, closing her eyes. “Nana once told me that the seeds can get you high.”

“I didn’t know she knew that much about drugs.”

“She loves flowers.” Hanji smiled a little like she was reminiscing. “I miss her.”

“Have you been keeping in touch?”

Hanji nodded, taking another drag. “She had her baby a couple months ago because I believe she got knocked up mid-April of last year. Anyway, it was a healthy baby girl born at 7 pounds and some odd ounces. They named her Isabel. She sends me pictures sometimes. She’s growing up really fast. She’s got blonde hair and brown eyes.” She laughed half-heartedly. “I want a daughter while I’m still young. No one’s gonna wanna knock me up though.”

_If I was pure, you know I would. And if I was yours, but I’m not._

\--

After a nap in the car and a few more pills, it was about 9 at night and people were all pulling up to the houses on the edge of campus. Hanji and I were standing in the street smoking, waiting to see that Eren kid or his supposed blond boyfriend.

Some people had come out to talk with us while we were smoking and that was interesting. We met a boy by the name of Connie and his girlfriend, Sasha. Neither of them ever seemed to wanna stop talking and Hanji was making easy conversation with them. I simply observed their attire.

Sasha had hair that was the same colour as Hanji’s, also warn in a messy ponytail. She had a nose ring with a chain attached to it that hooked on one of her earrings – she had three in each ear. Her eyeliner was thick and dark, but it complimented her long, black eyelashes. She wore fishnet tights with knee-high combat boots and a skin tight leather dress with fishnet sleeves that hooked over her thumbs to match her stockings. She was cute to say the least.

Connie was similar in a sense. He had four earrings in his right ear and two on his left. He had a mohawk that was a light brown with blue streaks in it in almost a uniform fashion.  He had on military boots and black jeans that had chains hanging from the belt loops. His shirt was a dark red T-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a black anarchy symbol spray-painted on the back. I liked his style. They really complimented each other.

Looking at them only made me wanna look at Hanji. She had teased her ponytail a little after our nap so it was poofier than normal. She had on her pair of glasses that looked like goggles and that split into three places on the back of her head. I loved when she wore them. She was wearing her dark blue cut-off jeans and a long sleeve black crop top which she had also cut the neckline on so it was off the shoulder and you could see her tattoo. She hated wearing strapless bras, so you could see her bra straps which was hot in a way. The top didn’t only show off her shoulders, bra straps, and tattoo though, it showed off her belly. Her curves weren’t very pronounced, but they were there. She also had on knee-high black stockings with black Converse and black laces to match. She was hot and any guy would be lucky to get his hands on her.

As for me, I just had on a black tank top with black jeans and shoes that were very similar to Sasha’s. Mine just had less of a heel. We almost looked like a gothic or punk-rock group. It wasn’t bad and I thought we were all pretty pleasing to the eye.

I finally spoke up after throwing my cigarette to the ground and stepping on it. “So, who’s running this party?”

Sasha smiled a little. “His name is Jean. He’s one of those kids that everyone knows. Oh, but you guys aren’t from around here, are you?”

“We’re from the bustling, bright city.”

“You guys look like you’re from there.”

“You ever been there?”

“My dad lives there. However, you guys look like those kids that stand out. Everyone looks the same here just as they do there, but at least you can stand out in the bright city.”

She had a point. Everyone did look the same in our city. Girls with long dark brown hair who wore leggings and sweatshirts. Boys with short blond hair who wore cargo shorts and snapbacks. It was hard to pick certain faces out of a crowd there. Everyone had tattoos, but almost no one had piercings. However, not being able to stand out here made me oddly uncomfortable.

Sasha and Connie both finished their cigarettes and waved us goodbye before heading inside. Hanji looked like she was deep in thought, but she still had that stupid smile on her face.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I wanna go in. I wanna meet this Jean kid and see if I can find Eren again.”

“Fair enough. After you.”

Hanji practically skipped up the sidewalk into the house and I followed closely behind her. The music was loud and not in my taste and the whole house smelled of weed and cheap liquor. It felt like a frat party and maybe this Jean kid was a frat boy. I didn’t know him.

We ended up running into Eren faster than expected and he greeted Hanji with a hug. “I’m glad you guys could make it! I don’t think I properly introduced you guys before, but this is my boyfriend, Armin.” She had been right.

Hanji held out a hand for him to shake and he gladly accepted it. “What a cutie! Eren, you’ve got yourself a keeper.”

Even in the dim lights, I could tell that Armin had a light blush painted across the cheeks. He was kinda cute and I don’t think I had ever looked at a boy like that.

Eren chuckled and leaned over to kiss Armin on the cheek. “I think we’ve been going out for 4 years now. So, I definitely think he’s a keeper.”

“4 years?” Hanji looked incredibly impressed. “I could barely hold Levi down as a friend for 5.”

“But he’s with you, isn’t he?”

Hanji smiled. “He sure is.”

“So, do you guys go to school here or are you on spring break or what?”

I figured I should probably make some conversation. “We’re from the bright city. We’ve been planning this trip since the day we met. We worked odd jobs throughout high school and saved up enough cash. Then, we stole my mom’s car, blocked every number in our phones but each other’s, and took off yesterday at about 1 in the morning.”

Armin looked amazed. “Jesus. Do you guys go to school at all?”

Hanji beamed. “We took a year off to work more, but I’m kind of interested in biology now. I might apply here for fall semester. I mean, I tried going this year during spring semester, but gave up. I think I’m ready now though.”

“That would be so cool!”

I shifted awkwardly on my feet. “I’m gonna go have a cigarette.”

Hanji was oblivious to how uncomfortable I was with her bringing up leaving me. “Ok, I’ll go grab you a beer if you want.”

“Sure.” I turned on my heel without another word and went outside.

Thankfully, nobody I recognized from inside was outside. I sat on the curb and lit up a cigarette before blowing out the first drag loudly. I was aggravated, to say the least. I couldn’t have Hanji leaving me. I would be completely alone. Erwin acted more like my dad then a friend and besides, he was at college. Most likely here too. Mike and Nanaba were starting a family and didn’t have time for other people right now. I can’t even remember when they told us their wedding would be. I knew it would be soon though. Probably sometime this summer since Isabel had finally been born. Petra was MIA and out of the picture. And I certainly don’t remember anyone else who tried to be my friend throughout high school. They were unimportant. Everyone but Hanji was unimportant. She was the only thing I wanted.

Pretty soon, my thoughts were interrupted by a male’s voice. “Hey.”

I looked up and didn’t recognize this kid at all. He had to be at least half a foot taller than me. However, that wasn’t rare for anyone to be taller than me. He intimidated me though. He had an undercut like I did, but his was dyed blond on the top and his dark brown hair was shaggy underneath the unshaven spot on top.

“And you are?”

“I’m Jean. I’m running this joint. Mind if I join you?” He pulled a cigarette out from his coat pocket and smiled stupidly.

“Yeah, whatever.” I looked back out to the street as he sat next to me.

“You look like you’re from out of town. I saw your girlfriend in there. Where are you guys from?”

“She’s not my girlfriend. We’re from the bright city.”

Jean lit up his cigarette and took a long first drag off it. “My mistake, then. I’ve always wanted to go there. What’s it like?”

“Well, we have an emperor and all the kids know that he doesn’t wear any clothes. We bow down to him anyway.”

He blinked a few times. “The sarcasm in your voice hurts.”

I chuckled a little. “It’s a shit show and we can never seem to leave. I’m glad we were able to get out for a little bit though.”

“Why are you guys up here, then?”

“We wanted to get away. We had been there our whole lives.”

“Road trip?”

“For a couple weeks I think.”

“Sounds nice. Yeah, I’m from here and my boyfriend moved here from the mountain town for school.”

“You met him here, then?”

Jean smiled a little. “Yeah. His name’s Marco. We lived in the same dormitory during the fall semester and we kept bumping into each other in the hallways. We got to talking and we just really hit it off. We’ve been together since October. He went back home for this semester though. And since he's not here, I decided to rent out one of the campus houses.”

“Everyone I’ve met tonight is in a relationship. I feel like a black sheep.”

“Well, you _are_ dressed in all black.”

I shrugged and kept taking smaller drags off my cigarette.

\--

Jean and I talked for about half an hour before Hanji came out with two beers in her hands. “There you are! I thought you had left me.” How ironic. She handed me a beer and smiled. “Some of us are going out later. Please come out with us tonight.”

“I would rather be alone.” _Than pretend I feel alright._

Hanji rolled her eyes. “Fair enough. I’ll see you later tonight, then. Please don’t move the car.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later.”

Jean got up and started to follow her back inside. “I’ll see you later then too, since you’d rather be alone.”

As soon as I was alone on the sidewalk, I lit up a menthol this time and breathed out loudly just as I had before. I closed my eyes and took a swig of my beer. I would have gone along with them. _If I was bored, you know I would, Hanji._ As I kept taking more drinks off my bottle, I heard some heels click and looked down at the shoes coming towards me. They were short black boots, with a stiletto heel. They were kinda cute, but I feel like I recognized them. Maybe a little too well.

“Levi?”

I looked up and saw a short girl standing in front of me. I instantly recognized the strawberry-blonde hair. It was longer than when I had last seen it. I remember it being just above her shoulders and now it was resting at the top of her breast. I kept looking up and saw those hazel-amber eyes. My throat almost closed, but I was able to mutter out one word as a question.

“Petra?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist! Chapter 3 is gonna be painful. I'm sorry in advance.


	3. Modern Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so Chapter 4 is nowhere near being done, but I needed to upload this to keep the content coming. Summer proves harder for me when it comes to writing so I hope you can all be patient with me until school starts back up again and I get more inspiration! Hopefully, something will spark in me while writing chapter 4, but we'll see.

“Levi?”

“Petra?”

That was the last thing I expected myself to say out loud during the trip. I was supposed to be focused on Hanji, and yet, here I was with my ex on the street outside of a college house party.

She invited herself to sit down next to me and fiddled with her fingers. She always used to do that when we were at parties. “What are you doing here?”

I took one last drag of my cigarette before smashing it out on the curb. “I’m here with Hanji. We saved up a ton of money and came here to get away from the bright city.”

“Why though? Why here?”

“Hanji wanted to check out college town. And you know we hated it there! We hated it more than anything and we hated the people there!”

“You don’t have to raise your voice.”

How typical of her. She would ask a stupid question then patronize me for getting upset for my answer. I hated it. I’m glad she dumped me. I never would have been able to settle down with her. To this day, she doesn’t know I cheated on her _with_ Hanji.

“Why are you with Hanji?”

“She’s my best friend.” Duh, Petra. Use your head.

“Are you guys finally together? I know you pined for her. I know you weren’t happy with me.”

Fuck.

“Why didn’t you break up with me? I only broke up with you because I knew you weren’t happy.” She hung her head and her bangs fell into her face. “I still love you…”

God fucking dammit.

“Look, Petra…I couldn’t break up with you because you were sweet and I didn’t wanna break your heart. Besides, I thought you were done with me and my party life because you wanted to pursue going to college and looking at your future. I thought you thought that I didn’t have one.”

“I lost my virginity to you.”

Shit. I lost mine to Hanji.

“I saw a future with us together. I thought you were going to come to college with me some day. I thought I could change your view on the world.” She sighed and wiped her palms on her knees. “Did you ever cheat on me?”

“No.” I didn’t hesitate. Good.

“Don’t lie to me! I’d call you some nights when I wanted to get my mind off homework. Your breathing was always erratic and you’d make the calls short. It’s because you were balls deep in Hanji, wasn’t it?”

I don’t think I’d ever heard her use that kind of vulgar language before. “Hazelnut…”

“Don’t call me that anymore! Did you ever cheat on me with Hanji?”

I blew my bangs out of my face and ran my fingers over the shaven part of my hair on the back of my head. “Yes…I did cheat on you with Hanji.”

“Why?”

I guess it was time to be blunt. “You were boring in bed. Hanji was freaky and weird and masochistic. I liked that. That’s what I wanted.”

“Did you fall in love with her after you fucked her then?”

“It was before then…”

Petra grabbed my beer out of my hand and downed the rest in one sitting. “Before I lose my ability to consent, will you have sex with me tonight? I want to show you that I can be weird.”

“Petra, this isn’t going to prove anything anymore.”

“Give me a fucking shot!”

“Ok! Ok…Hanji’s going out tonight with some of the kids she met at the party. We’re parked over there. I’m not allowed to move the car though.”

“We’ll fuck in my dorm. I don’t have a roommate.”

Hell, I was a modern man. I could get down with fucking my ex while the girl I loved was out partying. Besides, we weren’t dating so why should it matter to her? Something didn’t feel right about this, but whatever.

“Are you on birth control?”

“Of course I am. I’m in college.”

I laughed a little at that. “Do you want me to use a condom anyway?”

“Fuck no. I wanna feel you. I wasn’t on birth control in high school so I never got to actually _feel_ you. Plus, I know you’ve only fucked me and Hanji. As far as I know, Hanji’s only fucked you.”

She was smarter than I had ever imagined. This might be interesting. “Fair enough. Let’s go get smashed.”

She smiled and stood up, then strutted into the house, swaying her hips like I had never seen before.

\--

At some point during the night, I had lost Hanji in the crowd completely and spent it with Petra. We took shots and drank beers until neither of us could take it anymore. I checked my phone and it was just past midnight and a half. It was time.

“You wanna go back now?”

“Fuck yeah.” Her language had gotten crasser the drunker she got. She took my hand and we stumbled and giggled back to the campus.

The people behind me, they can understand. Those people being Hanji and everyone else in that house. I felt less than concerned right now. I had enough beer and vodka in me to let my worries slip away.

We made it into her dorm building which was apparently an all-girls hall. That must have been nice for her. As far as I knew, Petra definitely got along better with females than she did males. Especially after her experience with me.

We wasted no time making our way up to the 5th floor and down to her room which was a single on the corner. Her room seemed bigger than what I had imagined. But before I had time to evaluate how clean she kept her room, she pulled me down onto her bed and started kissing me with force.

I could taste the liquor on her breath and I was worried that maybe this wouldn’t be the best idea. She had given me consent before, but now I didn’t know if she would change her mind later. However, she was initiating everything and I couldn’t complain because I hadn’t been laid in a long time and I really, really wanted this…even if it wasn’t Hanji.

We both kicked off our shoes and I was tearing off my socks as fast as I could without breaking my lips away from hers. She then began pulling at my shirt. She let me go so I could take it off all the way and she ran her hands over my abdomen and chest. “Jesus Christ…”

“What is it? Is something wrong?”

“I forgot how good you looked without a shirt on.”

I chuckled dryly and started trailing my hands up the front of her shirt. “Are you sure you still want this?”

“Levi, I know I’ve had a lot, but I’m not too far gone to know I want this. I made sure to take it easy because I want to remember this. I want to cherish this.”

That was enough of a green light for me so I had her sit up and I slipped off her shirt. Her bra was black with a bow resting between the cuffs. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was cute and it suited her.

I didn’t have much time to think about that before she was kissing me again and unbuttoning my jeans. I had never seen her be so aggressive before and I was already getting turned on by the time she unzipped my jeans and started pushing them down my waist.

“Take them off. Boxers too.”

I followed her orders without hesitation before crawling back over her and going for her lips once again.

“No.”

“Do you want to stop?”

She laughed. Actually laughed at that. “No! Get on your back.”

She sure was bossy this evening, but I kind of liked it coming from her mouth. She crawled over me and kissed my lips quickly before trailing down my neck to my chest and then to my stomach. She stopped at the base of my shaft and began stroking my dick softly.

I let out a soft moan and watched her as she made eye contact before licking up the underside of my shaft and taking me slowly into her mouth.

I had maybe received two half-assed blowjobs from her before, but she was definitely determined tonight to get me as worked up as possible. Then, of course, she’d make me hold it in until she had her own fix of orgasm.

She sucked softly and her hair was grazing my thighs driving me insane. Her lips curled tightly around every crevice and she tried her best to be as thorough as possible while still going slow.

She only did this for a few minutes before letting me go and sitting back up. “That was just a first taste.”

I shivered and kissed her again with just as much force as when she had kissed me before. I fumbled with the clasps on her bra and pulled it off before massaging her breasts and moaning into her mouth.

Her boobs were a lot bigger than Hanji’s and all I could do was compare. I know I wouldn’t be able to stop myself at all that night from doing that. It was probably a force of habit, but that was OK.

She reached up to my back, still moaning into my mouth and clawed her way from my shoulders down to the small of my back. I broke the kiss to moan out loudly and I knew I was probably bleeding. Her nails were a lot longer than Hanji’s too.

She snickered and kept scratching slowly, but hard. I took the opportunity to pick a spot on her shoulder to suck on. She breathed hard on my neck and moved her nails in different directions as I sucked harder, grazing my teeth over her skin. She moaned quietly and I smiled once I detached myself from her shoulder.

She grabbed my face and began kissing me, using her tongue to lick my lips and then graze it over the roof of my mouth, then tracing my top set of teeth. After she was done with that, she licked at my tongue and I gladly obliged by following her lead.

I started tugging at the waistband of her skirt and she sat up to let me slide it off. Her underwear was cute too. It was blue and had lace around the waistband and legs. There was also a bow on the front that was like her bra. Cuter than anything Hanji would wear. Hanji’s favourite pair of underwear was black and white striped with green lining around the waist and legs. I had seen it more than a handful of times.

She stayed on her back and waited for me to take off her panties. I was more than eager to do so. I didn’t waste any time in getting them off and adding them to the clothing pile on the floor and oh my god she shaved.

She smiled a little and I smiled back before getting on my stomach and kissing her belly. Her skin was soft and I continued to kiss down until I get down the lips on her vagina. I kissed them a few times before sticking my tongue into the warm, wet area. She let out a soft moan with just the feeling of my tongue against her.

I didn’t waste any time trying to find her clitoris. It was like a bull’s eye and hers was easy to find. I couldn’t wear out my tongue, but I knew I wanted to try and give her at last one orgasm this way. I could try at least.

I licked up and down the whole area as she let out breathy moans that reminded me of those peach-coloured sighs that you always read about. Once I got back up to her clit, I flicked my tongue over it and her whole body writhed. She grabbed a chunk of my hair and pulled causing me to moan into her.

I massaged her thighs gently before sticking a couple fingers inside her, trying to find her g-spot. Her moans progressively got louder and her legs couldn’t stop twitching. I smiled a little as my tongue worked her clit and my fingers pulsated against the g-spot inside her.

This went on for roughly 20 minutes before I felt her clench around my fingers, signaling orgasm. I pulled my fingers out and kissed her lips once more before pulling away.

“You’ve still got it.” She was panting hard, but I knew she wasn’t about to stop there and I was glad since I hadn’t gotten my release yet.

I crawled over her and she was still more than happy to kiss me, tasting herself. She pulled away for a moment before whispering against my lips, “I’m ready.”

I nodded and stayed close to her while stroking myself before penetrating her slowly and carefully. “How effective is your birth control?”

“You can come inside me. I promise it’s safe.”

“I don’t want a kid on my hands.”

“Levi! I promise! Come on! I can’t take it anymore!”

I nodded and started moving slowly. She was aroused enough to the point where it was easy to move and slide in and out of her. It was good too because I didn’t want to hurt her. I remember our first time. She had bled a little because I didn’t get her turned on enough and I felt bad afterwards. I started to practice more and more with Hanji until I was able to get a girl ready for penetration.

She clung onto me as I moved and she bit down on my shoulder, making me cry out in pleasure. I started to move faster and was able to get deeper in her, still trying to hit her g-spot even if I couldn’t curl up inside her the way my fingers could.

I used one arm to hold myself up and the other to rub my thumb hard against her clit before getting rougher with my thrusts. I was already on the brink of orgasm already, but I couldn’t finish yet. I couldn’t do that to her. She had been waiting so long for this.

As we kept going on, getting rougher and rougher, she kept clawing at my back and biting at me. I was surprised at how rough she could get. She had never displayed this in high school. Maybe it was because she didn’t have all this pent up aggression in her. How long had it even been since she had had sex?

It wasn’t much longer before she was moaning out, louder this time, and her body clenched around me. I groaned and ended up pulling out anyway to come on her stomach. We both had to sit there in the afterglow of our orgasms for a minute before she spoke up.

“Why didn’t you come inside?”

“I told you. I don’t want a kid on my hands, birth control or not.”

She sighed and sat up, fixing her hair. “You never believed me when I told you something.”

“Hazelnut, that’s not it. I just can’t take any chances and neither can you. You have your whole future ahead of you and birth control is only 99% effective. If that 1% were to fail, you’d have to give up your future for a baby with a boy that wouldn’t stick around to help.”

She just blinked at me a few times and looked at the clock. It was around 1:30 and I didn’t know if Hanji would be back yet. I never gave her the extra set of keys to the car. “Maybe I should go. We might stay another night if you want to see us.”

Petra nodded. “Alright. I’ll think about it.”

We sat in silence for a little longer before my phone went off and I knew it could only be one person. I answered with reluctance and wasn’t even greeted with a ‘hello.’

“Where the hell are you? We just got back from our little after party and the car is locked. It’s kinda cold out, Levi.”

I squinted a little. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“No. Where are you? Did you go home with some girl? I swear to fucking god, Levi. You could’ve at least given me the second set of keys so I wouldn’t be out here freezing in my tiny outfit.”

“I’ll be there in a minute!” I hung up on that.

“Who was that?”

“Hanji.”

“Is she mad?”

“The car’s locked.” I shifted and started putting my clothes back on. “She just got back and she’s cold.”

Petra nodded and just sat there. I couldn’t read her and that scared me. She always had this stern look on her face and I don’t know if it was just her resting face or what. “Go to her.”

“Excuse me?”

“Levi, that was the best time I’ve had in a long time, but you came here with Hanji. She’s the one you came here with. Go to her.” She smiled a little bit and I returned the gesture.

“You’re the best. I hope to see you tomorrow. Apparently, there’s gonna be a different party in a different house.”  
“I’ll be there and I’d love to see Hanji this time.”

I kissed her on the forehead once I was dressed and practically sprinted back to the car.

\--

Hanji was sitting on the ground, leaning against one of the tires and smoking a cigarette when I got back. I tried to catch my breath and she raised an eyebrow. “Who was the girl? She looked like a good time.”

“What?”

“You have bite marks all over your shoulders and I can see the scratches on your back up by your neck. I didn’t even think you were big on one night stands.”

“It was no big deal. She got her rocks off and so did I.”

“Who was she?”

I froze for a second before reaching into my pocket and grabbing my own cigarette. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Hanji got overly excited at this. “Was she _that_ ugly? Who was she?”

“Hanji…”

“Couldn’t have been me. I’ve been out all night. Who did you fuck?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” I lit up my cigarette and blew out the smoke.

Hanji stood up and looked me dead in the eyes. She was intimidating being 4 inches taller than me, but I didn’t wanna back down.

“Who was she? Tell me or I’ll go have a good fuck with someone _I_ met at the party. He gave me his number.”

“It was Petra!” My jealousy got the better part of me and I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth.

Hanji paused for a minute then stepped down. “Are you serious right now?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I cannot believe you.”

“I’m so sorry.” Like a record that’s skipping. “I’m so, so sorry. Hanji, it was just a one night thing. We were both a little gone. I’m so sorry.”

“You were so unhappy with her and you go and screw her?!”

“She told me she still loved me! That I took her virginity! I wanted to be nice for one night! And you! You were the one going out with all these kids that you hardly know and getting wasted and probably smoking pot! You reek of it!”

“I didn’t smoke. Everyone else was though.” She paused. “That’s not the point! You just fucked a girl who’s totally in love with you and you don’t love her back! That’s low!”

 _Look who’s talking._ But Hanji didn’t know so that wasn’t fair of me.

“Give me the keys.”

I handed them over to her and she got into the car. I saw her rummage through one of our bags and down two pills with a bottle of water in hand. She then crawled into the back and got underneath the blankets on our makeshift bed.

The clock keeps ticking.

I waited for a while and she never came out to accept my apology. She was beyond mad. I had never seen her so upset. I’d make it up to her. I couldn’t have her being pissed at me when we were less than three days into our trip. I’d make things right.

I crawled into the driver’s side and took an extra blanket from my suitcase before leaning the chair back and trying to sleep there. I didn’t wanna push my boundaries by crawling under the same blanket as Hanji.

I loved Hanji and I’d do anything for her. I had screwed up this time, but I didn’t feel guilty about it.

_Then how come you can't sleep at night?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, please don't hate me for this chapter. I am a horrible person when it comes to writing angst and I am sorry.  
> Ok, not really.


	4. Rococo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, baby!  
> So, if any of you were with me for Flowers for a Ghost, you know I had to take the summer off and tacked that ugly "On Temporary Hiatus" on the title. I didn't do that this time, for some reason.   
> Here's the new chapter though and I hope to crack out at least on chapter a month until this thing is done. We may run into another summer hiatus, but that's a future problem.  
> Those you actually stuck with me, thank you. This chapter goes out to all of you.  
> To those who are new, please enjoy!

I felt like I didn’t sleep at all that night. I checked my phone and it was about 5 in the morning. I sighed softly and glanced to the back where Hanji was still soundly asleep. I rubbed my eyes before sitting up and taking off my shirt then rifling through my suitcase as quietly as possible before finding a clean shirt and a new pair of socks.

I threw my tank top in a separate bag and put on black t-shirt with a red collar. It was a little small on me so if I sat right, you’d be able to see my midriff. I liked this shirt. I then put on my clean socks and grabbed a pair of black sneakers from the backseat, tossing my boots into their place on the floor.

I looked at Hanji to make sure she was still asleep. She was so I decided to go out and find a diner that was open. I left the second set of keys in the backseat and took the first set with me. I grabbed a jacket, got out of the car, and closed the door as quietly as I could and began my walk.

I opened up Google on my phone and was able to find a diner that was open and about a 10-minute walk from here. I plugged in my headphones and buttoned up my jacket before starting to move.

\--

It wasn’t a long walk at all and I was there in less than 10. I opened the door to see a familiar face waiting tables. Just what I needed. More of these people that I didn’t care about.

I was seated quickly because obviously, no one was there at 5 in the morning. The hostess started me off with some coffee before the waiter came over.

“Have you decided what you…Levi?”

“Yeah, in the flesh.” I took a sip of my coffee, trying not take make eye contact with the blondie who kept his hair in that stupid undercut fashion that was never as clean-cut as my own. It was none other than Erwin Smith.

“What are you doing here?”

I sighed. “Hanji and I are on a road trip. We stopped here first to check out the party scene. Right now, she’s mad at me.”

“What did you do this time?”

“I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Levi, I hope you’re being safe. Are you still on drugs?”

“That’s really none of your goddamn business.” I held my coffee cup tightly in my hands. “I’m also not hungry, so just fuck off.”

He looked over and looked at the clock. “I get my half-hour break now. Let me clock out and we’re going to talk.” He left before I could protest.

He came back a few minutes later with a plate of food and a cup of coffee. “Levi, talk to me.”

“Why should I? All you ever wanted to do was be a better father to me than my own was to me. I’m not your kid. I’m your age and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from doing what I want.”

He sighed and poured some cream and sugar into his coffee. “I get that, but you never answered me. Are you still on drugs?”

“I believe I did answer. I told you it was none of your business. What are you even doing here?”

“I take evening classes at the college so I work here from 11 to 8 five days a week to get a little money in my pocket. Where’s Hanji?”

“Sleeping.”

“Why are you here so early?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“What did you do?”

Fuck him for knowing me too well. “I slept with someone and she got mad at me.”

“That’s not like her.” He thought for a moment. “Was it Petra?”

“Fuck you, dude! That’s not your business!”

He nodded. “So, it was her.”

“I really don’t wanna be here anymore.” I pulled out money from my wallet and put a few bills on the table for the coffee and a small tip because I wasn’t a total dick. “Peace out, shithead.”

\--

After that whole ordeal, I was still exhausted. On my way back, however, I heard something. _Oh my dear God, what is that horrible song they’re singing?_ I hurried back to the car where the window was cracked and I could see smoke rolling out of it. I checked my phone and it was only about 6.

I opened the door and Hanji looked groggy and tired. “Levi, who’s singing?”

“I wish I knew.” Just then my phone buzzed and it was a message from Petra.

_Can you hear that?_

I shot back a quick reply. _Yeah. What is it?_

She was a fast texter _. Something’s going on downtown today. You might wanna check it out._

“Was that Petra?” She said it casually like she wasn’t pissed off anymore.

I nodded. “She said something’s happening downtown today. Maybe we should go check it out. It’s probably some hippie sort of shit.”

Hanji threw her cigarette butt out the window and nodded. “I’m game. Can you hand me a hairbrush, my black tube top and my two-toned blue skirt?”

I grabbed everything she asked for and watched her strip right in front of me like nothing mattered. But, oh hell, did I watch her carefully.

She took off her shirt first then her glasses and then undid her hair and actually starting brushing it for once in her life. Once it was combed out, she put it back into her ponytail, parted her bangs in the middle and combed out the back that was too short to fit in the ponytail. She wiggled into her top and then took off her sleep shorts. She stood up as best as she could and got her skirt on that fell right down to her toes. She put her glasses on and brushed her bangs again. “Might as well look the hippie part, right?”

I gawked a little, but nodded. “I don’t know what to wear though.”

“Wear your black cut-offs and a pair of sneakers. As far as a shirt goes, wear that light blue tank top that shows your tummy when you stretch out.”

I nodded. “If you dig for it, I’ll wear it.”

She smiled and grabbed all my clothes. She handed them all to me including a pair of briefs. “Might as well change your underwear too after what happened last night.”

I shrugged and turned away, changing all my clothes down to my underwear. “You’re not mad anymore?”

Hanji shook her head. “We haven’t had sex in a while and I figured you must have been a little pent up. I’m almost most than positive that Petra convinced you to get into bed somehow.”

I smiled a little. “You know you’re incredible?”

Hanji flipped up her ponytail. “Yep, but I have a condition so I’m really not mad.”

“What’s that?”

“Do to me what you did to Petra, but better.”

\--

Once we hit downtown, we struggled to find a place to park, but managed to find a fairly good one considering the situation. It looked like a complete downtown hippie scene. There were girls and boys dressed in all sorts of colours with things in their hair and exotic jewelry. Hanji and I still looked like a couple of punks even with our getups. I felt like I needed some beads and feathers to put in my hair and string through my plugs.

“Hey! Hey, Levi! Hanji!”

We turned around and saw two familiar faces and a brand new one. Eren and Armin were there and they looked the part definitely, but there was a girl with them who looked to be the same height and age as Eren.

She had distinct curves and a bust to kill. She was wearing a red tube top and cut off blue overalls with a scarf tied in her hair. Speaking of, her hair was jet black and almost hit her shoulders. It was just a little longer than Armin’s. She had feathers hanging from her ears and she was really gorgeous.

Eren and Armin were both wearing blue jeans that had holes in separate places on each of them. Armin was wearing a baggy baby blue shirt and a lot of necklaces. He had a braid on the side of his hair which was tied with what looked like a ribbon, but not like a bow.

Eren definitely had more holes in his jeans and his shirt was a pale green with black ties that went over his chest, showing off a bit of skin. They both had black sneakers on that matched mine and they all definitely looked the part of the modern kids.

“Eren! Armin!” Hanji immediately went over to gather them both in a hug and I followed behind. “You both definitely look like you belong down here. Levi struggled.” She laughed a little. “Who’s your friend?”

Eren took the girl’s hand and had her step forward. “This is Mikasa. She’s my adoptive sister. She had some serious studying to do, being a sophomore instead of a freshman and couldn’t make it. I told her about you guys though. She thinks it’s cool how you’re road-tripping.”

Mikasa smiled and waved. “Hi there. Hanji, I’m guessing?” She stuck out her hand and Hanji gripped it firmly, shaking it.

“Wow, you’re really beautiful. I’m sure you have boys and girls crawling all over you.”

I hung out in the background while the girls chattered and lit up a cigarette.

Mikasa laughed a little. “My girlfriend actually decided to go college in the mountain town because her father moved there and she wanted to be with him. We spend vacations and long weekends together. Her name is Annie.”

“Oh wow. We were gonna stop by there in a few days. You should tell her we’re coming to visit! Lemme see your phone.”

Mikasa handed over her phone and Hanji typed in her number. “There! Now you can get ahold of me anytime of the day.”

Mikasa took back her phone and smiled. “Thanks. Hey, is your friend, Levi, OK?”

Hanji looked back at me and chuckled. “He’s kind of awkward in social situations. I guess that’s what you get when you put an extrovert and an introvert together. Hey, Levi!”

I looked up and walked over to them. “Hey.”

Hanji smirked. “Finally, the turtle comes out of his shell.”

I rolled my eyes. “So, what’s going on here exactly?”

“Just about everything! There’s a place down the block a little where they do tattoos for cheap. The line is short because it’s so early, so we should go!”

“We said we’d wait.”

“But where are we gonna get such good deals at a normal tattoo place?”

Eren chuckled a little. “We’ll meet up with you guys later. Go have fun.”

Hanji waved them off and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go!”

\--

We got to the table where they were doing tattoos and no one was even there, but the artists had pictures up of their work and I was really impressed. Hanji was the first to talk.

“Hey there! We were thinking about getting some ink done.”

The artist at the table smiled. “What do you guys wanna get and where?”

“Well, I want purple morning glories on my shoulder with vines that go down to my elbow with a few more flowers at the end.”

“And him?”

“Oh, uh, I wanted wings that cross over each other on the back of my neck. One black, one white.”

She nodded. “Let me sketch and I’ll let you see then we’ll talk about pricing.”

We admired the art while she sketched as soon as she was finished, she called us over. The designs were absolutely beautiful and the prices she gave us were incredible. There was no way we could get these at such good prices back in the bright city.

“I have two other artists on stand-by. You guys wanna get done at the same time?”

Hanji nodded. “Let’s do it!”

“Alright, I’ll take you and I’ll have my buddy over there do your friend. Come over here.”

She brought us under a tent with all this art hanging under it and Hanji was sitting upright in what looked like a dentist’s chair and I was sitting with my stomach pressed to the chair and my head leaned forward. I was ready and I knew Hanji was ecstatic.

My artist leaned over me after getting all his supplies sanitized. “Ready to go?”

I nodded, a little nervous. “Let’s do this.”

\--

An hour or two later, I was relaxed as all hell and my artist told me he was done. He handed me a mirror to look at and then held one behind me so I could get a look.

The wings were absolutely beautiful. It was everything I wanted. I thanked my artist and paid him with a nice tip. He thanked me and I nodded.

I went out to the front of the table and I noticed that Hanji was almost finished with hers. I waited for about another half an hour before she was finished. She paid her artist and also gave her a nice tip. She skipped over to me and was wearing the biggest grin.

“How pretty is this?”

It was absolutely gorgeous. It was more than I could have pictured in my head. The flowers were purple morning glories and the vines went all the way down to her elbow just like she had wanted. The vines were a vibrant forest green with leaves that stuck out from both the vines and flowers. I loved it.

“It’s incredible, Hanji.”

She smiled and took my hand. “We’re on our way then. Let’s go see where that awful singing was coming from.”

I tagged along with her until we came to the stage. Up there was a band, but the singer was a small little blonde girl and her voice was actually really good. They must have come up just after the last singers. She had great stage presence and kept dancing across the stage, but I noticed she was always closest to the guitarist who had her hair pulled back into a low ponytail and she had very prominent freckles. She was a god singer and her song wasn’t the horrible one we heard this morning. Thank God.

Hanji leaned into me, “Hey, this is better than that God awful shit we heard this morning.”

I laughed and leaned back into her. “Definitely, but I’m more focused on the singer and her flirtationship with the guitarist. Do you think they’re together?”

“I wouldn’t doubt it. I feel like everyone here is gay.” She laughed.

I smiled and turned my attention back to the stage. The blonde kept singing the word “Rococo” over and over again. I lit up a cigarette and heard them finish the song before clapping half-heartedly.

Hanji grabbed a menthol out of her bag and lit up as well. As she lit up, I noticed the wind was blowing all the ashes around. I looked to the ground and there were ashes everywhere. More than likely from things besides cigarettes.

I grabbed a couple pills out of her bag and gave her one and a bottle of water. Once she downed them, I took the bottle and swallowed my pills. I couldn’t wait until my head started to flood again.

“Hey. I saw you guys watching the show pretty closely.”

I looked around and saw the blondie from the stage. She was tying her hair up and Freckles wasn’t far behind her.

Hanji was quick to jump on intros. “Yeah! You guys were really good. This morning we heard some god awful song. It woke us both up, but you guys were good.”

The blonde smiled and tightened her ponytail. “I’m glad you liked it. My name is Historia and this is my girlfriend, Ymir.”

Ymir raised her hand a little, but didn’t crack a smile. What a weird couple. One was cute, short, and bubbly. The other was tall, boyish, and quiet. Part of me wondered if Historia was into boys as well.

Hanji cut my thoughts in half. “What’s the name of your band?”

Ymir finally cut the tension by saying, “Rococo.”

Hanji tilted her head a little. “What a peculiar name.”

I cut in this time. “I like it. Wasn’t that the song you were singing too?”

Ymir nodded. “We’re trying to get a record deal and we’re gonna release that one as our first single.”

Hanji bounced a little. “I’ve heard of self-titled albums, but never self-titled songs. I hope you name your first album Rococo. Will it be self-titled or named after you song? Nobody knows. I’ll be the first one to get that single and then the album. When you guys are big, everyone’s gonna be so jealous that I actually met you guys before you got big.”

Historia giggled. “Gimme your phone. I’ll put our numbers in so then we can text you about release dates and concerts. We’re gonna be sticking in this state for a while.”

Hanji handed over her phone. “Ever wanna play in the bright city? That’s where we’re from.”

Historia punched in her number and Ymir’s before handing it back. “We were actually going to head there as soon as the semester is over. We’re both students here studying music.”

Hanji texted them both immediately. “There. Now you have my number and I put Levi’s in the message.”

I finally decided to talk. “We’d really love to see you guys play a whole show. Do you know where you guys might be playing?”

Historia and Hanji were chattering away like little birds. Ymir smiled and turned to me. “Maybe at the depot downtown. I’ve been in town a few times and there were always pretty cool events going on there. The floor space is nice and big too.”

I nodded. Hanji had dragged me to a few events there. It _was_ a really nice area to have fun events. Whether it was a band or a small convention, it was a nice area. Plus, the building had great architecture and was in a pretty spot downtown.

I glanced over at Hanji and it looked to me like she had finally found a girl friend who she connected with.

\--

We ended up spending most of the afternoon with the two girls and even gave them a few pills since they were done performing for the day.

Once 7 hit, we were saying our goodbyes and Hanji was spinning Historia around in a hug.

Ymir looked at me and we bumped fists. “It was really great meeting you guys. Historia’s much friendlier than I am so it was nice that you were there. You’re someone I can connect with.”

“Yeah, you too. I haven’t exactly met calm people on this trip so you’re a nice change of pace.”

To my surprise, she ended up pulling me into a hug. I laughed and hugged her back. When it was over, we sat there and laughed together for a few minutes.

I finally calmed down and wiped the tears from my eyes. “Well, hopefully we’ll see you around.”

She nodded. “You too man.” She turned back to Historia. “Hey, Princess! We’re heading back to the RV. Say your goodbyes.”

Historia frowned a little and gave Hanji the tightest hug I’ve ever seen from someone her size. Hanji easily had 10 inches on her.

She looked up at Hanji with a forlorn look on her face. “Text me?”

Hanji nodded. “Every day as much as I possibly can.”

They hugged again before Ymir took Historia’s hand and started to walk away. Hanji watched them leave and I approached her.

“We’ll see them again.”

She sighed. “I know. I just haven’t met someone that cute and fun in a long time. Nana is the only girl friend I really have and I’ve only seen her once since Isabel was born. Yeah I was at her wedding and I got to hold the baby, but that was a while ago. Isabel’s been in this world long enough for me to have seen her more than once, but I was only there a month or so after she was born. She probably has a lot of hair now. I bet she’s a blondie like her parents. She has the most beautiful brown eyes too and…” I watched her swallow a visible lump in her throat.

I took her hand and started walking back to the car. Hanji squeezed my hand occasionally and lifted up her glasses to wipe at her eyes. She was shaking and I started to think this was more about her wanting a baby than her wanting new friends.


	5. Empty Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll.  
> This chapter is short because this song was harder to work with than Rococo even was.  
> I really hope these juices don't slow down.  
> Also, happy things happen! How absolutely unlike me.  
> Even if there is a little sad Hanji near the beginning.

Before going back to the car, I texted Jean to ask him if we could use his shower. He happily obliged. I led us both to Jean’s place as Hanji tried her best to stop crying.

I tried to find some words that might help distract her. I couldn’t promise her anything concrete yet. “Do you wanna shower together? I can wash your hair for you.”

She smiled a little. “Can we take a bath instead?”

I smiled back and nodded. “Of course we can.”

She squeezed my hand again as we walked up the sidewalk to Jean’s place. I knocked and he came right away to the door.

“Hey guys! Come on in.”

Hanji slunk down a little which was super uncharacteristic for her. There were definitely a few things she wasn’t telling me.

I gave her a sad look then turned to Jean. “Do you have a bathtub?”

He nodded. “Yep. Take as long as you need and feel free to use anything in the shower.”

“Thanks.” I smiled and led Hanji upstairs to the bathroom. As soon as we got in there and I shut the door, she let go of my hand and sat on the toilet, pulling her legs up to her chest. I sighed and sat on the floor in front of her.

“What’s got you so mopey all of a sudden? We’ll see Historia and Ymir again. We could even see them again tomorrow before we leave.”

She sniffled and lifted her head up so I could only see her eyes from behind her knees. “I just want a girl friend I can take home with me. Nanaba is great, but I only ever text her and it’s once in a blue moon. And seeing Isabel…” Her eyes started to water again and I touched her arm. She sighed shakily and I moved my hand away.

“Gimme one of your feet.” She obliged without saying a word and I started unlacing one of her boots before slipping it off along with her sock.

“Other foot.” I did the same thing and started running my hands up and down her legs gently. She sighed with content and her muscles relaxed as she outstretched her legs so I could rub both of them.

I don’t think Hanji and I had ever done anything quite this intimate before. Nothing sweetly intimate at least. I just wanted to take care of her. We were both complete and utter messes, but we had always been there for each other. I just wish she’d love me.

Before I could organize my thoughts into a structured sentence, she mumbled something and played with her thumbs and the lines on her palms.

“What?” I moved my hands down to her feet and squeezed her soles occasionally.

“I want a baby…”

“I know you do.” I stood up, but she didn’t even move her head to look at me. “Arms up.” She complied without argument and I slipped off her top. I moved away to turn on the bath water.

Once the faucet was on, I turned back to her and lifted up her head by placing my fingers on her chin. I took off her glasses and set them on the counter before wiping her eyes. “I promise that you’ll get your baby one day.” I took out her hair and started combing out the knots to make it easier to wash. “Why do you want a baby so young?”

She sighed and rubbed at her eyes, her voice finally evening out to a normal tone. “I just want someone who will love me unconditionally. Boys and girls will come and go, but I’ll have my baby for a long time before she has to move out. Even then, I’ll never stop being her mommy.”

I sat down to take off my own shoes and socks and then my shirt. “You want a girl, then?”

She nodded. “I think I’d name her Sonny. I like that name a lot.”

I smiled. “I like that name too. You’re gonna be a great mom someday. I know you will.” As far as the father was concerned, I wasn’t about to insert myself into the equation. I just knew that if I was the father of Hanji’s child, I’d never desert either of them. I’ve loved Hanji for too long to leave her now even if she did get married and pregnant by some other guy. I didn’t care. I always wanted to be there for her. And if the father walked out, I’d be there to claim the role as Sonny’s father. That I could promise her, just not out loud. Yet. I had to wait until she was actually pregnant. Her next statement took me aback.

“You’re a boy. You could get me pregnant.” She took off her skirt and her panties then ran her hands through her hair.

“Hanji, think about this.”

“I have! I’m getting older. I’ll be 20 in September. So many girls we graduated with are already married and/or have babies.”

“I thought you wanted to go to school.”

“I can do that with a toddler. I’ll take her to the campus daycare. I’ll start class once she’s old enough to walk and talk. She’ll get to know me and then she’ll learn that I won’t always be home. I’ll only end up taking 2 or 3 classes at first.”

I sighed. She had really thought this out. I watched her step into the tub as I slid off my jeans and underwear before joining her in the tub. “You’ve got a pretty good plan.”

“I’ve thought about what I really want out of this cruel world. I’ll quit doing drugs and I’ll quit smoking and drinking just so she can be born healthy.”

I grabbed the soap and started washing her legs. I desperately tried to change the subject. “Are you gonna shave?”

She seemed to play along. “Maybe just my armpits. I don’t want you having to soak in a bath full of my leg hair and pubes.”

I laughed a little. “I don’t mind. There’s a razor in here anyway and it’ll be funny if Jean has to shave his face with something you shaved your vag with.”

She laughed as well. I think I had finally derailed her baby train of thought. “Then I’ll shave everything. Besides, it might be a while before I can shave again.”

I let go of her legs and she picked up the razor before leaning back and shaving at her legs. “Hey, Levi?”

“Yeah?” I dunked my head to get my hair wet to wash. I grabbed the shampoo and let her talk.

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

I rinsed my hair and gave her a look of confusion. “Of course I think you’re pretty. I also think any guy would be lucky to get you pregnant.”

She smiled a little. “Thank you.”

I smiled back and the rest of the bath was silent as we cleaned ourselves.

\--

Once we were out and dressed except for our shoes, we went downstairs to find Jean in the living room with a familiar face. It was Mikasa.

Hanji perked up at the sight of her. “Mikasa! Hi!”

Mikasa turned her head and smiled when she locked eyes with Hanji. “Hey, guys. What are you doing here?”

Hanji went over and sat down on the loveseat next to Mikasa. I took a seat next to Jean on the couch before saying, “We needed to take a shower desperately and Jean was nice enough to let us use his tub.”

Jean turned to me and then Hanji. “Do you guys want a bed to sleep in?”

“I, uh…we couldn’t impose on you especially since you have more company.”

Mikasa stood up. “I was actually about to leave. Eren and Armin wanted me to go play Cards Against Humanity with them and some other kids. Jean didn’t want to come, but I thought I’d come see him before we started to play.” Her phone buzzed in her sweatshirt pocket and she pulled it out. “That’s Eren now.” She leaned down to hug Hanji and then went over to hug Jean. She even hugged me before saying goodbye and leaving the house.

Jean checked his phone and made a face. “Yikes. I gotta get to bed. I have a ton of homework to do before class tomorrow and it’s too late to do it now. I’ll show you guys to my guest room.”

Hanji stood up and I shrugged since Jean seemed so insistent, I wasn’t going to argue with him. He led us up the stairs and we passed the bathroom and his room before coming to a closed door at the end of the hall.

Jean opened the door and there wasn’t a single thing in that empty room except for a mattress that was made-up and laying on the floor. I smiled a little. Hanji’s favourite place to sleep was on a mattress on the floor. She believed bad energy had room to circulate from under the bed. She ended up getting rid of her bedframe back when she was 14. She’s slept on the floor ever since.

Hanji went in and turned on the light before looking around and sitting down on the foot of the mattress. “It’s perfect. Thank you so much, Jean.”

Jean nodded. “Goodnight guys. I’ll probably be gone before you guys get up. When you leave, just turn off all the lights and lock the front door. I’ll have my keys with me.” He shut the door and I heard footsteps and a door shut.

I sighed and sat down next to Hanji. “Are you tired?”

She shook her head. “I slipped in a pill about an hour ago. I’m gonna be awake for quite a while.”

I nodded and reached into my pocket for a pill. “I’m gonna go get a glass of water.”

“Hurry back.”

I nodded and headed downstairs. I grabbed a glass, filled it up, took my pill, and went back upstairs still holding the glass. When I opened the door, Hanji had her hair down and her skirt and top were on the floor.

I gave her a look. “What are you doing?”

“You promised that you’d do me better than Petra, remember?”

“Here? When Jean’s asleep in the room over?”

She nodded. “We’ll just have to be quiet. It’ll be a challenge. Just don’t get anything on the sheets.”

I shrugged. I _did_ like a challenge and I _had_ promised Hanji. I didn’t want her to be mad at me so I set down my water and started stripping. Hanji giggled and lay back on the bed. This was going to be interesting.

Once I was down to my underwear, I crawled over her and she smiled before leaning in for a kiss. I kissed her softly and ran a hand through her hair. As we kissed, I soon moved my hands down to her waist and started to pull off her panties. Her body was warm and ready. She had been working herself up for this.

Once I had her panties off, I threw them to the floor and she started to tug off my underwear. I had to shift awkwardly for her to get them off, but we both managed. The kisses began getting more aggressive and she reached her hand down to stroke my dick. I tried not to break the kiss before my fingers trailed down and brushed over her clit before I found out exactly where it was. I rubbed my fingers softly and slowly until she broke the kiss to moan softly. I exchanged her moan for my own as she sped up her hand.

We both moved our hands harder and faster until our rhythm was being thrown off and we knew we needed to get to it. She spread her legs and said my name in a breathy voice. I nodded and positioned myself over her before moving inside of her. She had to cover her mouth to let out an audible gasp and I moved her hand to kiss her again. I figured it would be a more effective way to keep us both from waking Jean up.

It didn’t take us long before the sound of slapping skin filled the room. She clawed at my back and I pulled at her hair. Things were never gentle with us. I don’t know if they ever would be gentle.

She wrapped her legs around me as best as she could and I could feel her toes curl. We were both sweating and as disgusting as it was, it made me happy. There hadn’t been this kind of heat between us in such a long time.

She was getting louder and louder against my mouth and I wasn’t doing a much better job of keeping myself quiet. I moved a hand down to rub her clit as best as I could while still remaining inside her.

It didn’t take much longer before I felt her clenching around me. The extra pressure set me off and I called her name in an empty room. I finally slowed down as we both tried to catch our breath. I pulled out of her and realized I did something I would never do.

I hadn’t put on a condom.

“Levi?”

I looked up at her, slightly panicking. “Y-yeah?”

“You didn’t put on a condom. That’s something you never forget.”

I was hoping she wasn’t drawing conclusions. I don’t even know if I had really forgotten or not. Yes, I loved her. Yes, I wanted her to have a baby that was mine. But did I really just _forget_ to not use a condom?

Before I could spit out an excuse, she hugged me. It took me a minute, but I hugged her back. I leaned back so we were both sitting and I thought I could feel something wet on my shoulder.

“Hanji?”

“Thank you.”

I smiled and kissed her temple before laying back down with her and trying to get some sleep.

\--

In the morning, Hanji was still sleeping beside me and I had to shake her awake. We needed to leave this town if we wanted to keep going to new places.

Hanji groaned and opened one of her eyes, looking at me. “You’re super blurry.”

I laughed. “We should get up. We were gonna go to the mountain town today.”

Hanji smiled and bolted up, suddenly wide awake. “Yes! There’s friends there!”

I moved slowly and started putting on my clothes. “Huh?”

“Jean’s boyfriend! Mikasa’s girlfriend! I have both their numbers. I believe Marco and Annie are their names.” She jumped around trying to look through her phone while getting dressed at the same time. “Found them!” She paused with her skirt around her ankles as she tapped away on her phone, letting the two know we were coming. I laughed a little and went downstairs to leave Jean a note that we were leaving.

We eventually got completely ready to go and went outside to the car. Hanji jumped right into the car, still bouncing a little.

I opened her door to talk to her. “Don’t you wanna visit anyone before we go?”

“Nope! New friends! New adventures! Let’s go!”

I laughed and pulled out a cigarette then offered her one. She turned me down which was so unlike her.

“Not now. I might be carrying a baby.”

I smiled and lit up my cigarette before jumping in the driver’s side of the car, ready to head on down to mountain town.


End file.
